


Who decided giving zombies a phone was a good idea?

by Iaobug



Category: Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Genre: F/F, Group chat, Swearing, chat fic, chatroom, shitpost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-08-29 21:04:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16751497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iaobug/pseuds/Iaobug
Summary: Just another chatroom fic, yall know the drill.





	1. In which Kotaro doesn't think ahead

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has created the chatroom.]_ **

**_Kotaro_Tatsumi has joined the chatroom._ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** That’s too boring.

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed the welcome message to “[User] JOINS THE ARENA!”]_ **

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed the farewell message to “[User] was a coward and left the arena…”]_ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** There we go :)

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has invited Ai_Mizuno, Junko_Konno, Lily_Hoshikawa, and 4 others to the chatroom.]_ **

**_Lily_Hoshikawa JOINS THE ARENA!_ **

**_Ai_Mizuno JOINS THE ARENA!_ **

**_Saki_Nikaido JOINS THE ARENA!_ **

**Saki_Nikaido:** wtf is this

**_Junko_Konno JOINS THE ARENA!_ **

**_Junko_Konno was a coward and left the arena…_ **

**_Sakura_Minamoto JOINS THE ARENA!_ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** A chatroom! I thought I’d be generous and grace you all with an online form of communication, to have easier access to your idoly teammates!

 **Sakura_Minamoto:** But we all live in the mansion together… We can just walk over to each other? 😕

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** JUST TAKE IT

**_[Lily_Hoshikawa has kicked Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**Lily_Hoshikawa:** oh so thats what that button does

 **Saki_Nikaido:** asdadfahfdsfg

 **Sakura_Minamoto:** Are you okay Saki-chan?? 😰

 **Saki_Nikaido:** lol yea forgot nobody else here speaks lesbanese

 **Ai_Mizuno:** Neither should you??? None of us are from Lebanon.

 **Saki_Nikaido:** jdfkhdfkjghsdgfg

 **Ai_Mizuno:** Plus, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t translate to any language out there. There aren’t even any vowels in there!

 **Lily_Hoshikawa:** these names are too boring!!

 **Sakura_Minamoto:** You mean the usernames? 🤔

**_Tae_Yamada JOINS THE ARENA!_ **

**Lily_Hoshikawa:** yeah!! i want a cuter one!!

 **Lily_Hoshikawa:** oh hi tae

 **Tae_Yamada:** sgerdfc

 **Tae_Yamada:** hpojuy rtew

 **Tae_Yamada:** hg

 **Tae_Yamada:** ewdsg

 **Sakura_Minamoto:** Oh hey, she speaks lesbanese too! 😊

 **Saki_Nikaido:** dghjkdfghdjfkgadf rad

 **Saki_Nikaido:** sup b?

 **Tae_Yamada:** w

 **Saki_Nikaido:** actually yknow what shrimpys right

 **Lily_Hoshikawa:** Lily

 **Saki_Nikaido:** these names are boring af

**_[Tae_Yamada has changed their username to RHgwe]_ **

**Saki_Nikaido:** WOAH HOLY SHIT HOWD YOU DO THAT??

 **RHgwe:** ewfsdc

 **Saki_Nikaido:** teach me your ways, yamada sama

**_[Sakura_Minamoto has changed their username to RapQueen]_ **

**Saki_Nikaido:** HUH??????

 **RapQueen:** Oh! I didn’t think that’d work! 😳

 **Saki_Nikaido:** HOW ARE YOU DOING THESE THINGS??

 **Saki_Nikaido:** WHAT DOES RAP QUEEN EVEN MEAN??

 **RHgwe:**  ere ghtyj

 **RapQueen:** I just thought of the first thing that came to mind, and it was our rap battle… 😌

 **Saki_Nikaido:** o yea nearly forgot about that

 **Saki_Nikaido:** ANYWAY HOW DID YOU DO IT

 **Lily_Hoshikawa:** no don't tell her!!

 **RapQueen:** But she’s curious! 😯

 **Saki_Nikaido:** HELL YEA I AM NOW TELL ME

 **RapQueen:** Well… There’s a little gear-shaped image in the top right corner...

**_[Lily_Hoshikawa has changed their username to Lilybud103]_ **

**Saki_Nikaido:** HOW

 **RHgwe:** wqku utgfreg

 **RHgwe:** e iyu,3[ptt

 **Lilybud103:** it was my online username when I was alive!

 **RapQueen:** That’s really cute, Lily-chan! 😄

 **Lilybud103:** thanks, i came up with it myself!

 **Saki_Nikaido:** ok i found the gear, now what

 **Lilybud103:** you shove it up ur butt

 **RapQueen:** What?? 😲

 **Saki_Nikaido:** fuck off shrimpy >:V

 **Lilybud103:** Lily

 **RapQueen:** Anyway, you tap on it…

 **Saki_Nikaido:** done. a whole bunch of things popped up

 **RapQueen:** Okay! You should see one that says “change username”

 **Saki_Nikaido:** located >_>

 **RapQueen:** And then you should be able to change your name!

**_[Saki_Nikaido has changed their username to someBODY]_ **

**someBODY:** THIS IS THE BEST DAY

 **someBODY:** wait can i

**_[someBODY has changed Ai_Mizuno’s username to ONCE TOLD ME]_ **

**_[ONCE TOLD ME has changed their username to No thanks]_ **

**RapQueen:** Aww, come on, Ai-chan! She’s just trying to play!

 **No thanks:** Not in the mood to play, thank you very much.

 **Lilybud103:** at least she’s polite about it…

 **someBODY:** cmon it was funny!!

 **No thanks:** I’d rather not be connected to that song.

 **Rhgwe:** hrt kliu,jhmnjhgfe

 **someBODY:** >:V!

 **someBODY:** fine then ill drag another unfortunate soul into this mess >:3

**_[someBODY has changed Junko_Konno’s username to ONCE TOLD ME]_ **

**_[No thanks has changed ONCE TOLD ME’s username to Junko]_ **

**Lilybud103:** where did you even find out about shrek? you died in the 80s right??

 **someBODY:** ye but ive been watching stuff on kotaro’s tv thing

 **someBODY:** the song just sounded like something people’d find funny

 **someBODY:** was i right?? :D

 **No thanks:** Unfortunately, you are.

 **someBODY:** >:D

 **RHgwe:** ghrtffgtonih

_**[someBODY has changed Junko’s username to ONCE TOLD ME]** _

**RapQueen:** Leave her out of this! 😡

**_[RapQueen has changed ONCE TOLD ME’s username to Junko-chan]_ **

**_[someBODY has changed Yugiri’s username to ONCE TOLD ME]_ **

**someBODY:** cmoooooooooooooooon i need SOMEBODY to finish it off :(

 **No thanks:** Does she even know how to use this thing, let alone get online?

 **RapQueen:** Should one of us tell her how? 😟

 **RHgwe:** yeher

 **someBODY:** the legend has spoken, someone teach the geezer how to internet

 **RapQueen:** It’ll probably take a while to explain everything to her...

 **Lilybud103:** not it!

 **someBODY:** not it

 **RHgwe:** nyoti

 **No thanks:** I can go do it.

 **RapQueen:** I’ll help!

 **Lilybud103:** godspeed, sisters ✌️😔

**_No thanks was a coward and left the arena…_ **

_**RapQueen was a coward and left the arena...** _

 


	2. Midnight Musical

**_Kotaro_Tatsumi HAS JOINED THE ARENA!_ **

**someBODY:** oh shit its the fuzz

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Whose butt is getting kicked today?

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Because I’ll have you know that I have a great punishment planned for you!

 **someBODY:** why me????????

 **someBODY:** i am an innocent observer

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** He who does not right the wrongs of a passerby is equally as guilty as the wrongful passerby himself.

 **someBODY:** you made that one up

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** DOES IT MATTER?? IM GIVING YOU WORDS OF WISDOM

 **someBODY:** forgery of the bible is a crime yknow :)

**_ONCE TOLD ME HAS JOINED THE ARENA!_ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Over all of you corpses, I’m pretty much a god anyway, so you need to r

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Hello Yugiri.

 **ONCE TOLD ME:** Hello, Tatsumi, Saki-han.

 **someBODY:** dude

 **someBODY:** its like 2 in the morning why are you up

 **ONCE TOLD ME:** That explains where everyone else is…

 **someBODY:**??????? we all sleep in the same room

 **someBODY:** i can see you across from me

 **someBODY:** everyone else is right there

 **someBODY:** DONT YOU WAVE AT ME YOU CHEEKY BICH

 **ONCE TOLD ME:** What’s a bich?

 **ONCE TOLD ME:** By the way, why is my name _ONCE TOLD ME_ ? Is this how  _Yugiri_ is pronounced this days?

 **someBODY:** uh yeah sure

 **someBODY:** whatever helps you sleep at night sis

 **ONCE TOLD ME:** But we aren’t asleep. As you said, it is incredibly early in the morning.

**_Junko-chan HAS JOINED THE ARENA_ **

**_No thanks HAS JOINED THE ARENA_ **

**No thanks:** Some of us are trying to sleep, can you turn your phones off?

**_No thanks was a coward and left the arena..._ **

**someBODY:** ai u buzzkill >:V

 **ONCE TOLD ME:** What does that symbol on the end mean?

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** It means you two are being insensitive pricks and need to turn off your phones.

 **ONCE TOLD ME:** Understood. I shall do that at once and try to _climb the wooden hill, zonk out,_ and  _catch some z’s_.

**_ONCE TOLD ME was a coward and left the arena…_ **

**someBODY:** sis i love you but please never say that again

 **someBODY:** oh shes gone

 ******someBODY:** :(

 **someBODY:** im all alone now

 **someBODY:**  hm

 **someBODY:** >_>

 **someBODY:** <_<

**_[someBODY has changed their username to WOOOOOOAH]_ **

**WOOOOOOAH:** WERE HALFWAY THERE

 **WOOOOOOAH:** LIVIN ON A PRAYER

**_[WOOOOOOAH has changed their username to TAKE MY HAND]_ **

**TAKE MY HAND:** WELL MAKE IT I SWEAR

**_[TAKE MY HAND has changed their username to WOOOOOOAH]_ **

**WOOOOOOAH:** LIVIN ON A PRAYER

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** 👏👏👏😭

 **WOOOOOOAH:** thank you, thank you, im here all night

 **Junko-chan:** So are we, now can you go to sleep?

 **WOOOOOOAH:** oh shit

 **WOOOOOOAH:**  its junky

 **WOOOOOOAH:** she does exist

 **WOOOOOOAH:** didnt kno u were still up lol

 **Junko-chan:** Well, I am. I wonder whos fault that is, hmm?

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** YOU HEARD THE LADY, GO TO SLEEP

 **WOOOOOOAH:** or what? >:3

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has removed WOOOOOOAH’s admin privileges]_ **

**WOOOOOOAH:** wait what i was an admin??

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Everyone was an admin, except you as of now.

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** How else do you think Lily kicked me?

 **WOOOOOOAH:** fair point

 **WOOOOOOAH:** so what happens to me now

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** You can’t change anyone else’s names, for a start.

 **WOOOOOOAH:** WOAH WOAH WOAH HOLD UP I CANT WHAT??

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Sakura was nice enough to fill me in about earlier today.

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed ONCE TOLD ME’s username to Yugiri]_ **

**WOOOOOOAH:** NOOOOOOO BRING BIG SIS BACK TO THE DARK SIDE :(

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Go to sleep, and I’ll consider it.

**_WOOOOOOAH was a coward and left the arena…_ **

**Junko-chan:** Bless your soul, Tatsumi-san…

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** All in a days work :)

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Sleep tight!

 **Junko-chan:** Will do.

**_Junko-chan was a coward and left the arena…_ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** livin on a prayer~


	3. The ol' switcheroo

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has pinged everyone]** _

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** I have a new game planned for all of you, since it appears you all like to use this chatroom so much.

 **WOOOOOAH:** yeah bullshit

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Language, young lady!

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Anyway...

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has muted the chat]** _

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed No thanks's username to a]** _

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed RapQueen's username to a]** _

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed RHgwe's username to a]** _

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed Lilybud103's username to a]** _

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed Junko-chan's username to a]** _

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed WOOOOOOAH's username to a]** _

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed Yugiri's username to a]** _

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** And now... The magic happens.

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed a's username to I flushed Yugiri's pipe down the toilet]_ **

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed a's username to I wore Sakura's panties]_ **

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed a's username to I use Tae's head as a teddy bear when I sleep]_ **

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed a's username to I convinced Lily to eat oatmeal that Romero had regurgitated]_ **

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed a's username to I stole one of Ai's hairpins]_ **

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed a's username to I know Junko's biggest phobia]_ **

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed a's username to I can't pronounce Saki's last name]_ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Go wild, girls :)

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has unmuted the chat]** _

_**Kotaro_Tatsumi was a coward and left the arena...** _

**I wore Sakura's panties:** oh no

 **I wore Sakura's panties:** OH NO

 **I can't pronounce Saki's last name:** Whoever you are, you are dead meat.

 **I convinced Lily to eat oatmeal that Romero had regurgitated:** But we are technically already dead meat...

 **I stole one of Ai's hairpins:** Haha, Saki-chan would definitely be the type of person to do THAT!

 **I know Junko's biggest phobia:** Wait, Saki doesn't use the shift key.... Are you not Saki?

 **I convinced Lily to eat oatmeal that Romero had regurgitated:** That I am not, and I don't plan on revealing myself anytime soon.

 **I use Tae's head as a teddy bear when I sleep:** That's smart... I'll do that too.

 **I flushed Yugiri's pipe down the toilet:** ghrjdfkw

 **I flushed Yugiri's pipe down the toilet:** e y54

 **I flushed Yugiri's pipe down the toilet:** v[e

 **I flushed Yugiri's pipe down the toilet:** rt54tyo;;;;;;;;;;;

 **I flushed Yugiri's pipe down the toilet:** ;;;;;;

 **I wore Sakura's panties:** i think we know who tae is now

 **I convinced Lily to eat oatmeal that Romero had regurgitated:** Honestly, it sounds like something she would do.

_**[I stole one of Ai's hairpins has changed I flushed Yugiri's pipe down the toilet's username to Tae-chan]** _

**I know Junko's biggest phobia:** We know it's you, Sakura.

 **I know Junko's biggest phobia:** I'm honestly not even mad. I have plenty of spares.

 **I stole one of Ai's hairpins:** I'm so sorry, Ai-chan!! They were just so cute!!

 **Tae-chan:** qwlk1

_**[I stole one of Ai's hairpins has changed I know Junko's biggest phobia's username to Ai-chan]** _

_**[I stole one of Ai's hairpins has changed their username to RapQueen]** _

**I use Tae's head as a teddy bear when I sleep:** Just to confirm... what IS Junko's biggest phobia?

 **Ai-chan:** Friends throwing her under the bus for answering private questions in public, now back off.

 **Ai-chan:** Also, if Sakura keeps renaming all of us, I already bet it'll become repetitive and boring quickly.

 **I convinced Lily to eat oatmeal that Romero had regurgitated:** I second that.

 **RapQueen:** Sorry again, Ai-chan!! 😞

_**[Ai-chan has changed Tae-chan's username to LEGENDARY]** _

**LEGENDARY:** gytukilkyjawdfswerinobbbbbb

 **RapQueen:** I think she likes it! 😇

 **Ai-chan:** Now... What should my username be?

 **RapQueen:** What about something to do with the number 3? Since that's your name in Franchouchou! 😁

_**[Ai-chan has changed their username to 3l3ctric]** _

**3l3ctric:** Does this work?

 **I use Tae's head as a teddy bear when I sleep:** is that referencing your death?

 **RapQueen:**...

 **RapQueen:** Saki-chan? 🤭

 **I use Tae's head as a teddy bear when I sleep:** What? No! I just forgot to press shift.

 **I can't pronounce Saki's last name:** Are you sure?

 **3l3ctric:** Yes, it is referencing my death. I couldn't think of any other words that had any e's in them.

 **RapQueen:** I must say, that's a pretty unique way of incorporating a 3 into your name! 😲

 **I can't pronounce Saki's last name:** Y3s, t1s 4 v333333ry un1qu3 w4y of 1ncorpor4t1ng 1t!

 **3l3ctric:** Lily, is that you?

 **I can't pronounce Saki's last name:** awww, cmon! that wasn't even fair!

**_[3l3ctric has changed I can't pronounce Saki's last name's username to Lilybud103]_ **

**Lilybud103:** how'd you even know it was me???

 **3l3ctric:** Only three people here have lived past 2007.

 **3l3ctric:** And two of those three have already been revealed.

 **Lilybud103:** no faaaaaair >:c

 **RapQueen:** What are we talking about? I don't think anything interesting happened in 2007... 🤔

 **Lilybud103:** Sakura, you're too innocent to belong here.

 **RapQueen:**???????????

 **I convinced Lily to eat oatmeal that Romero regurgitated:** Yes, I am somewhat curious about it as well.

 **Lilybud103:** WHO ARE YOU

 **I convinced Lily to eat oatmeal that Romero regurgitated:** You shall never know~ :)!

 **RapQueen:** It's either Junko-chan, Yugiri-san, or Saki-chan... 🤔

 **3l3ctric:** It's not Saki. Saki would never use capitalization.

 **I use Tae's head as a teddy bear when I sleep:** So then she must be Yugiri-san!

 **I use Tae's head as a teddy bear when I sleep:** oh no

 **Lilybud103:** Junko-chan!!

 **LEGENDARY:** htytjuoiska

 **I use Tae's head a teddy bear when I sleep:** Sorry, Yamada-san!! Your hair is just really comforting and calms me down at night...

 **LEGENDARY:** wrrttt

 **3l3ctric:** You can take her, Sakura.

 **RapQueen:** Yay! 😃

_**[RapQueen has changed I use Tae's head as a teddy bear when I sleep's username to Junko-chan]** _

**Junko-chan:** I must say, it feels a lot better to have this name than the other one... It's really long.

 **Lilybud103:** and _I_ must say, i can't believe Yugirin made me eat dog barf!!

**_[I convinced Lily to eat oatmeal that Romero regurgitated has changed their username to Yugiri]_ **

**Yugiri:** I apologize for that. I was unaware that the mutt had gotten to it first.

 **Lilybud103:** how do you miss something like that??

 **Yugiri:** I would like to know that answer myself. In any case, I am regretful of my actions and should've paid closer attention.

 **Lilybud103:** and now ive got dog guts inside of my gut................

 **LEGENDARY:** htrgxcxz66yu

 **RapQueen:** It's okay, Lily-chan! At least it didn't make you sick! 🤗

 **Lilybud103:** yeah, but i still ate dog barf............... i thought it was normal oatmeal, too...........

 **Lilybud103:** ill never listen to another word Yugirin says!!

 **3l3ctric:** That's pretty harsh...

 **Lilybud103:** MAKING ME EAT DOG BARF IS HARSH!!!

 **Yugiri:** It was unintentional!

 **Lilybud103:** you know what else was unintentional? puberty. you know who still had to suffer bc of it? THIS KID

 **Yugiri:** I shall make it up to you in the distant future.

 **RapQueen:** How?

 **3l3ctric:** I saw some board games in the rec room. Maybe you two could go there and try bonding again?

 **Lilybud103:** as long as none of them involve more dog barf, im good!

 **Yugiri:** I approve as well.

 **LEGENDARY:** hyhujiollk

 **RapQueen:** Great! We're back on track! 👍

 **I wore Sakura's panties:** lmao

 **I wore Sakura's panties:** oh shit

 **RapQueen:**.

 **Junko-chan:** Oh my...

 **RapQueen:** Saki...

**_I wore Sakura's panties was a coward and left the arena..._ **

**3l3ctric:** She just ran past me to the garden.

_**RapQueen was a coward and left the arena...** _

**Yugiri:** What's a pantie?

 **Junko-chan:** How did Nikaido-san even do that? That kind of thing has to be unintentional.

 **Lilybud103:** It's 2018, anything is possible...

 **Junko-chan:** Might as well fix it before things get hectic again when she returns...

**_[Junko-chan has changed I wore Sakura's panties's username to WOOOOOOAH]_ **

**Yugiri:** That name concerns me...

 **LEGENDARY:** owhtwooh 0

 **3l3ctric:** It's a song, don't worry about it.

 **Yugiri:** Really? What song consists of consistent screaming?

_**[Lilybud103 has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]** _

**Lilybud103:** he can answer for you.

_**Kotaro_Tatsumi JOINS THE ARENA!** _

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** What nooooooooow?

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Oh, I see you have all found each other's true identity, great job!

 **Yugiri:** Tatsumi, what song consists of consistent screaming?

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** You mean like the death metal concert you all awakened from?

 **Junko-chan:** We were at a death metal concert?

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Jesus, are your memories just as dead as your skin? Yes, you were at a death metal concert while you were all still in zombie mode.

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Anyway, Saki, Tae, and Sakura were just screaming their hearts out during that concert. I'm just relieved I didn't need to pull out any lozenges for them afterward.

 **LEGENDARY:** huhyj

 **3l3ctric:** At least we didn't do anything embarrassing...

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** We're getting off track. You all finished the game, yay you! 

 **Lilybud103:** yay us!

 **LEGENDARY:** yurh

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** You all may return to whatever you were doing before, now. Tata and farewell, young maidens!

_**Kotaro_Tatsumi was a coward and left the arena...** _

**Junko-chan:** But we already were...

 **Lilybud103:** whatever! what were we talking about again?

 


	4. What Star Wars character are you? Answer this quiz's 7 questions and you will...

**_RapQueen HAS JOINED THE ARENA!_ **

**LEGENDARY:** hgisodzakru

**Lilybud103:** so how’d it go?

**RapQueen:** Huh? 😕

**3l3ctric:** The scolding.

**RapQueen:** Scolding? 🤔

**Junko-chan:** About the thing Nikaido-san did?

**RapQueen:** Ohhhh, that! 😮

**Lilybud103:** howd it go?

**RapQueen:** Well….. 😞

**RapQueen:** I found her, and I was about to tell her off….

**Lilybud103:** buuuuuuut?

**RapQueen:** She glared at me, and said some really mean things, and I just got scared and ran off…. 👀

**Yugiri:** Poor thing...

 **LEGENDARY:**  ertyhuh h6 juik

**3l3ctric:** Doing that to someone’s undergarments is still unacceptable, regardless of victim or perpetrator. Where is she right now? I'll have my own word with her.

**RapQueen:** You can’t, Ai-chan! What if she’s mean to you, too? 😰

**3l3ctric:** I had anti-fans when I was alive. I can handle Saki.

**Yugiri:** What is an anti-fan?

**LEGENDARY:** wretyj 4

**Junko-chan:** Similar to a fan, but the polar opposite. Whoever they’re an anti-fan for, they hate them with all their being.

**Lilybud103:** they’re real mean :(

**Lilybud103:** i heard an anti-fan gave cookies to an artist, but the cookies had acid in them!

**Yugiri:** That is incredibly unfortunate. My heart goes out to whoever that poor soul is.

**Junko-chan:** I’m sure they appreciate it!

**Junko-chan:** The reassurance, not the cookies.

**Lilybud103:** i think she got the point...

**RapQueen:** I’m just relieved Franchouchou doesn’t have any anti-fans yet… 😌

**Yugiri:** Yet?

**3l3ctric:** It’s inevitable. If something’s popular, someone is guaranteed to hate it.

**RapQueen:** My thoughts exactly! ☝️

**3l3ctric:** Seems like one of us finally understands the dark side of idols…

**LEGENDARY:** hjkuyily

**Lilybud103:** the dark side of idols...

 **Lilybud103:** i just thought of us performing in star wars costumes

**WOOOOOOAH JOINS THE ARENA!**

**RapQueen:** Can I be Leia-chan? 🍔

**Junko-chan:** I liked that golden man’s appearance… Can I be him?

**Junko-chan:** Hi, Nikaido-san!

**WOOOOOOAH:** howdy sluts

**LEGENDARY:** howwdeyydg

**WOOOOOOAH:** see? tae gets it

**WOOOOOOAH:** whats shakin?  


**Lilybud103:** bacon

**3l3ctric:** We’ve decided to figure out which Star Wars characters we’d all be.

**WOOOOOOAH:** wow really?

**WOOOOOOAH:** never rlly got into it

**WOOOOOOAH:** but shrimpys def either yoda or r2d2

**Lilybud103:** Lily

**Lilybud103:** also i like yoda!! he’s got those cool ears and talks funny!

**WOOOOOOAH:** i call dibs on the tall hot four-armed dude

**WOOOOOOAH:** he could beat the shit out of me and id thank him

**RapQueen:** Remember what Kotaro-san said? Watch your language! 🤫

**WOOOOOOAH:** yea? im watchin my language and my language is english

**3l3ctric:** But we’re all Japanese…

**WOOOOOOAH:** *winks to the camera*

**3l3ctric:** ????????????

**Lilybud103:** im calling tatsumi over!! he’ll be sure to have a word with you!

**WOOOOOOAH:** lmao whatevs, whats he gon do?

**_[Lilybud103 has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**Junko-chan:** And now, we wait…

**WOOOOOOAH:** just waiting?? sounds lame

**Lilybud103:** your punishment will come in time!!

**WOOOOOOAH:** remind me again, what did i do wrong?

**RapQueen:** You didn’t watch our language! 😡

**LEGENDARY:** awrdf

**WOOOOOOAH:** but tae doesnt speak english, whats her excuse?

**3l3ctric:** We’re Japanese…

**WOOOOOOAH:** dont avoid my question, das _AI_

**3l3ctric:** Wow, that insult’s really a stretch.

**Yugiri:** That was an insult? Please enlighten me.

**Junko-chan:** Dasai means out-of-style.

**WOOOOOOAH:** YOU TWO CANT AVOID MY QUESTION EITHER

**_Kotaro_Tatsumi JOINS THE ARENA!_ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** What questions do you corpses have for the genious Kotaro Tatsumi?

**Yugiri:** I believe it’s spelt  _ genius. _

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Potayto potahto

**WOOOOOOAH:** sakuras bullying me for swearing :(

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** I believe I did the same. What’s your point?

**WOOOOOOAH:** tae doesnt speak properly either, so why does she get a free pass?

**LEGENDARY:** yu7

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Because unlike you lot, she doesn’t have autocorrect!

**Lilybud103:** that answers so much…

**RapQueen:** That doesn’t sound very fair to us… Autocorrect is always in the way for us, but not for her?

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Ugh fineeeeeeeeee, I’ll give her device autocorrect if it’ll make you all stop whining

**Junko-chan:** But we weren’t whining…

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Go wild, lil legend.

**LEGENDARY:** h

**LEGENDARY:** hairball turtleneck

**WOOOOOOAH:** woah

**3l3ctric:** I can already predict where this is going.

**_[LEGENDARY has changed Yugiri’s username to Gondola Murder]_ **

**Gondola Murder:** Huh.

**3l3ctric:** I stand corrected.

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** With thought patterns like hers, there’s endless potential to what she’ll create here!

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Enjoy your new restriction of speech, Tae~!

**_Kotaro_Tatsumi was a coward and left the arena…_ **

**Junko-chan:** Sorry about your username, Yugiri-san.

**Gondola Murder:** Not to worry. As long as it is not an offensive slur, I do not mind.

**Junko-chan:** I wonder what a gondola is, though?

**Lilybud103:** arent those really long weird boats that people in italy use those?

**RapQueen:** I’ve never been to Italy, so I wouldn’t know. 🇮🇹

**LEGENDARY:** Yankee dodecahedron

**WOOOOOOAH:** asdasdasdasgfghfdg this is the best thing

**WOOOOOOAH:** say something else tae

**Gondola Murder:** I do not think she can understand you.

**LEGENDARY:** Fuck

**WOOOOOOAH:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**_[WOOOOOOAH has pinged Kotaro_Tatsumi]_ **

**WOOOOOOAH:** KOTARO YO GAL SWORE

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has muted WOOOOOOAH]_ **

**WOOOOOOAH:** coward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My computer crashed twice while trying to write this chapter. Is this a sign?


	5. Typo! In the group chat!

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** New rule, Sakura: No emojis.

 **RapQueen:** Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Why?

 **WOOOOOOAH:** nani the fuck

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** I've gotten word from some peers that while adorable, they're distracting and not helpful in general.

 **3l3ctric:** Who's saying this?

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** I think I speak for all of us when I say they'd prefer to remain anonymous.

 **RapQueen:** Multiple people think my emojis are bad?? 😓

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** WHAT DID I JUST SAY YOUNG LADY

 **RapQueen:** Sorry!! It's just a habit...

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** I know what I must do.

 **WOOOOOOAH:** is he gonna

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has removed RapQueen's image-posting rights.]** _

**WOOOOOOAH:** heck ye, welcome to the club sakrua :)

 **LEGENDARY:** heckle google vendor

 **RapQueen:** I feel naked

 **RapQueen:** Wait are emoticons still permitted?

 **RapQueen:** :O

 **Lilybud103:** yay!!

 **RapQueen:** Haha! You can't strip me of my individuality yet, Kotaro-san!! >:D

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** uwu

 **Junko-chan:** I-Is that a codeword of some kind?

 **WOOOOOOAH:** why bother including the stutter

 **WOOOOOOAH:** were all online

 **Lilybud103:** let her be cute in peace!

 **Junko-chan:** I'm just trying to make the conversation as realistic as I can :(

 **Gondola Murder:**  Mind if I ask how this _emoticon_ creation works?

 **LEGENDARY:** no goat sternum with sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 **Lilybud103:** i agree!

 **Gondola Murder:** But I did not say a statement, rather, a question.

 **3l3ctric:** To answer it, it's not really necessary, just a fubby way of expressing yourself.

 **3l3ctric:** Funny*

 **WOOOOOOAH:** fubby

 **RapQueen:** Fubby :D

 **Lilybud103:** fubby

 **Junko-chan:** Fubby

 **WOOOOOOAH:** fubby

 **Gondola Murder:** Fubby.

 **3l3ctric:** Saki did it twice, that doesn't count.

 **Kotaro_Tatsumi:** TYPO IN THE GROUP CHAT NOW YOUVE DUN HECKED UP

 **3l3ctric:** It wasn't even that funny of a typo...

 **WOOOOOOAH:** fubby*

_**[Kotaro_Tatsumi has changed their username to Fubby]** _

**Fubby:** Look your new creation in the eye and say you love it.

 **Fubby:** This is what motherhood is like.

 **3l3ctric:** Thanks! I hate it!

 **WOOOOOOAH:** rip ai :pensive:

 **Junko-chan:** It's okay, Mizuno-san! I can help!

 **3l3ctric:** This is not motherhood, this is a 30-something-year-old man.

 **Fubby:** wow rude >:O

 **LEGENDARY:** ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 **Gondola Murder:** Oh!

 **WOOOOOOAH:** GSDGSDFGADASDASDASDADASDAFADFSDG HOLY SHIT

 **WOOOOOOAH:** TAE YOU ABSOLUTE MADLAD MARRY ME

 **Junko-chan:** I think she might've fallen asleep on the keyboard...

 **RapQueen:** How does that even happen? :O

 **3l3ctric:** Just ask her.

 **Fubby:** Remember that she can't speak English, Mommy?

 **3l3ctric:** Screw you.

_**[3l3ctric has blocked Fubby]** _

**Fubby:** Aww :(

 **Lilybud103:** serves you right, creep!

 **Gondola Murder:** If I were in that position, I would be uncomfortable too.

 **3l3ctric:** Now can we please move on?

 **RapQueen:** To what? I don't remember us talking about anything important :/

 **Fubby:** To be fair, neither do I.

 **Junko-chan:** Aren't you supposed to be our manager? You should always have the answers!

 **Fubby:** And sometimes I don't. I'm not a god, y'know!

 **WOOOOOOAH:** backlog is a friend of yours

 **3l3ctric:** It's actually kind of amusing to read all of this without being able to see the demon's text.

 **Fubby:** I see she has learned the error of her ways and shall not say funny again.

 **Fubby:** She truly is moving on... *sniffle* They always grow up so fast

 **WOOOOOOAH:** fuck u

 **3l3ctric:** Fine then, if my comments aren't appreciated here, I'll go.

_**3l3ctric was a coward and left the arena...** _

**WOOOOOOAH:** WAIT NO I WAS TALKING TO THE

 **WOOOOOOAH:** shit

 **RapQueen:** I'll go check on her! :D

 **Gondola Murder:** Best wishes, Sakura-han.

_**RapQueen was a coward and left the arena...** _

**Junko-chan:** What now?

 **Lilybud103:** now.................... we wait

 **WOOOOOOAH:** thats your excuse for everything

 **Gondola Murder:** What do we wait for?

 **WOOOOOOAH:** idk smth to happen ig

 **Gondola Murder:** What

 **Lilybud103:** allow me to translate:

 **Lilybud103:** "I don't know, we wait for something to happen, I guess."

 **Gondola Murder:** Ah.

 **Gondola Murder:** Is there a point to speaking like that?

 **WOOOOOOAH:** ye its fun

 **Junko-chan:** What should we do in the meantime?

 **WOOOOOOAH:** 99 buckets of brain matter on the wall

 **Gondola Murder:** Excuse me?

 **WOOOOOOAH:** 99 buckets of brain matter

 **WOOOOOOAH:** take one down

 **WOOOOOOAH:** pass it around

 **Fubby:** 98 buckets of brain matter on the wall

 **WOOOOOOAH:** 98 buckets of brain matter on the wall

**_Lilybud103 was a coward and left the arena..._ **

**Fubby:** 98 buckets of brain matter

 **WOOOOOOAH:** 98 buckets of brain matter

 **WOOOOOOAH:** wait shit no

 **WOOOOOOAH:** i do the first part you do the last part

 **Fubby:** ugh fine

 **WOOOOOOAH:** 98 buckets of brain matter on the wall

 **WOOOOOOAH:** 98 buckets of brain matter

 **WOOOOOOAH:** (your turn)

 **Fubby:** (srry)

 **Fubby:** take one down

 **WOOOOOOAH:** (dw)

 **Fubby:** pass it around

 **Fubby:** 97 buckets of brain matter on the wall

_**Junko-chan was a coward and left the arena...** _

**_Gondola Murder was a coward and left the arena..._ **

**WOOOOOOAH:** 97 buckets of brain matter on the wall

 **WOOOOOOAH:** 97 buckets of brain matter

 **Fubby:** take one down

 **Fubby:** pass it around

 **Fubby:** 96 buckets of brain matter on the wall

 **WOOOOOOAH:** 96 buckets of brain matter on the wall

**_3l3ctric HAS JOINED THE ARENA!_ **

**WOOOOOOAH:** 96 buckets of brain matter

_**3l3ctric was a coward and left the arena...** _


	6. So.... Episode 11, huh?

**Lilybud103:** guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys sakura-chan's being edgyyyyyyy

 **3l3ctric:** No, she's just depressed, or something.

 **3l3ctric:** Haven't talked with her one-on-one yet, but that's the impression I'm getting.

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** then shes gotta stop being depressing

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** ughhhhhhhhhhhh finding out how to deal with this shit is the worst

 **Junko-chan:** I agree, it's rather concerning...

 **Gondola Murder:** The group chat feels naked without her bubbly attitude...

 **Lilybud103:** yugirin, i love you, but i beg of you to watch your wording at least once someday

 **Gondola Murder:** Did I say something incorrect?

 **Lilybud103:** nope! but onto the actually relevant topic...

 **Lilybud103:** why is sakura-chan so sad??

 **Junko-chan:** Something-something serotonin, I'd presume.

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** thx doc

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** but none of us know shit bout brain chemicals soooooooo

 **Gondola Murder:** Do you think Tatsumi would know?

 **Lilybud103:** u mean ai's new fubby son?? i dont think so

 **3l3ctric:** I dare you to associate me to that word again.

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** ey dont be rude to shrimpy >:P

 **Lilybud103:** Lily

 **Lilybud103:** but idk if he'd know much about what to do,,, hes more of a necromancer manager than a therapist or a chemist,,

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** holy shit

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** necromancer

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** manager

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** necromanager

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** im a genious

 **Junko-chan:** Indeed you are...

 **3l3ctric:** Therapist

 **3l3ctric:** Chemist

 **3l3ctric:** Thermist

 **3l3ctric:** Congrats, we can all do portmanteaus

 **3l3ctric:** Back to Sakura

 **Lilybud103:** haha thermist sounds like thermos when you say it out loud

 **Junko-chan:** I wonder if there even are thermoses in the mansion...

 **Gondola Murder:** Gonder.

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** GONDER

 **3l3ctric:** BACK TO SAKURA.

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** but gonder sounds funny :,(

 **3l3ctric:** We need to work together to save Sakura somehow...

 **Junko-chan:** You sound like Kotaro-san when you say that...

 **Gondola Murder:** She is not incorrect. Sakura is in a troublesome situation that not even my slaps cannot resolve.

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** i cant believe i live in a timeline where that is a relevant statement that makes total sense

 **Gondola Murder:** Perhaps she needs a firmer one?

 **Lilybud103:** we gotta be careful to not hurt her, tho!! we dont want her to suddenly hate us!

 **Gondola Murder:** I can restrain myself.

 **Junko-chan:** Reassurance like that with a name like Gondola Murder is concerning...

 **3l3ctric:** I think I have an idea...

 **3l3ctric:** What did all of you do when you were feeling particularly downcast? Maybe we could do something like that for her?

 **Lilybud103:** good idea!!

 **Lilybud103:** i liked putting on cute stuff that made me look extra pretty!!

 **3l3ctric:** I'm sure you were gorgeous.

 **3l3ctric:** Not the kind of thing Sakura needs, however.

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** how bout a destructive bike dash around the place? helps melt away stress like a candle uwu

 **Gondola Murder:** _Uwu_?

 **3l3ctric:** I'm not sure that we have motorbikes available to us...

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** what

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** thats bullshit

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** this whole thing is bullshit

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** this zombie thing is a scam

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** fuck the idol biz

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** heres 95 reasons why

 **WOOOOOOOAH:** numero uno:

_**[Fubby has banned WOOOOOOOAH from the chatroom]** _

**Lilybud103:** THANK YOU

 **Fubby:** Doing the Lord's work from the shadows ;)

 **Junko-chan:** Then fix Sakura.

 **Fubby:** No can do, Missy. This ain't no physical or spiritual thing, its all a mental thing

 **Fubby:** far beyond the capabilities of this old man

 **Lilybud103:** now  _thats_ a real scam

 **Fubby:** point is i cant help, kthxbai

**_Fubby was a coward and left the arena..._ **

**3l3ctric:** Junko, Yugiri, your suggestions?

 **Gondola Murder:** If I ever had a particularly stressful evening, I took a relaxing bath in a refreshing and natural environment.

 **3l3ctric:** That might help somewhat. Junko?

 **Junko-chan:**?????????????????????? I'm really sorry, I don't know if it'd help?????

 **3l3ctric:** Yugiri's from a full century ago, I'm sure two decades isn't going to be much of a difference.

 **Junko-chan:** i...................

 **Junko-chan:** liked playing video games

 **Lilybud103:** rlly?? i wouldnt expect that from you :O

 **Junko-chan:** yeah.. theres this one that i started playing for a few years before i died

 **Junko-chan:** it helped me to stop focusing on things that were frustrating me

 **3l3ctric:** What was it called?

 **Junko-chan:** i dont know if youll know it..

 **3l3ctric:** You never know! say it anyway

 **Junko-chan:** ,,,,,,,

 **Junko-chan:**  ,,donkey kong?

 **Lilybud103:** oh my god

 **3l3ctric:** Yeah, I think I know him.

 **3l3ctric:** The big monkey guy, right?

 **Junko-chan:** Yeah, that's him!

 **3l3ctric:** Great suggestions, everyone. I'll try talking to her later to see if I can get something arranged.

 **Lilybud103:** ill be surprised if she even makes eye contact

 **3l3ctric:** Something's gotta work eventually.

 **Gondola Murder:** Best of luck, Ai-han!

 **Junko-chan:** I'll be here if you need help or anything!

_**3l3ctric was a coward and left the arena...** _

**Lilybud103:** hm tae-chan's been pretty quiet, huh?

 **Junko-chan:** dont jinx us please

 **Gondola Murder:** She better not fill the screen with those repeated letters again.

 **LEGENDARY:** Drag wizard sheet ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

 **Gondola Murder:** Oh.

 **Gondola Murder:** That is better than I was expecting.

 **Lilybud103:** there she is :)

 **Junko-chan:** Hell, Yamada-san!

 **Lilybud103:** woooooah junko-chan!!

 **Lilybud103:** i get if you dont like her, but you dont need to be so rude

 **Junko-chan:** It was a typo!

 **Junko-chan:** Sorry, Yamada-san!

 **Junko-chan:** I was trying to say hello!

 **Gondola Murder:** I doubt she cares.

 **Lilybud103:** yea, probably not

 **Junko-chan:** Okay...

 **Lilybud103:** imagine if kotaro was here to see that new typo 

 **Junko-chan:** If it upset Mizuno-san so much, I'd be worried if he caught wind of it, too...

 **Lilybud103:** i promise to keep my mouth zipped about it when he comes back!

 **Gondola Murder:** As do I. The comfort of my peers is what I strive for.

 **Junko-chan:** Thanks guys <3

 **Lilybud103:** np!


	7. A new, fresh start

**_Kotaro_tatsumi has joined the chatroom._ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** GFDI ITS BORING AGAIN

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** WHY IS IT BORING AGAIN

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** whatever the girls will probs do something bout it

**_[Kotaro_Tatsumi has invited Ai_Mizuno, Lily_Hoshikawa, Saki_Nikaido, and 4 others to the chatroom.]_ **

**_Lily_Hoshikawqa has joined the chatroom._ **

**_Yugiri has joined the chatroom._ **

**_Ai_Mizuno has joined the chatroom._ **

**Kotaro_Tatsumi:** Welcome back to hell, kids!

**_Saki_Nikaido has joined the chatroom._ **

**_[Ai_Mizuno has banned Kotaro_Tatsumi from the chatroom.]_ **

**Saki_Nikaido:** JESUS

**Saki_Nikaido:** i havent even been here for 5 seconds and chaos has started

**Ai_Mizuno:** Better late than never.

**_Tae_Yamada has joined the chatroom._ **

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** lol

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** wait

**Saki_Nikaido:** wait

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** is that a typo in my name

**Yugiri:** It appears I am no longer Gondola Murder…

**Saki_Nikado:** yea were back to our boring ass names

**Tae_Yamada:** kjgftdreshe

**Ai_Mizuno:** That’s probably what happens when we all get new phones after the old ones got wrecked back in Arpino.

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** yeah why did we even bring those with us on-stage?

**Tae_Yamada:** htjykul,uk8wa

**Yugiri:** That is a good question. I see no benefit for us to do that, even now.

**Saki_Nikaido:** wtf why cant i be satan

**Yugiri:** Excuse me?

**Saki_Nikaido:** i was tryna change my username to satan but it didnt let me :(

**Ai_Mizuno:** Why… Would you want to be Satan?

**Saki_Nikaido:** bc its cool and edgy

**Saki_Nikaido:** wait i have an idea

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** oh no

**_[Saki_Nikaido has changed their username to Lucifer]_ **

**Lucifer:** HAH

**Lucifer:** CANT BEAT ME YET, SYSTEM

**Yugiri:** Why wouldn’t it let you be Satan?

**Lucifer:** idk maybe someone else already has that username?

**Yugiri:** Well, I don’t have it.

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** why is satan in our groupchat

**Ai_Mizuno:** He isn’t, I already banned him.

**LIly_Hoshikawqa:** nonononono, his username’s Kotaro_Tatsumi, not Satan

**Lucifer:** then y is satan not allowed

**Yugiri:** Perhaps he doesn’t like the kinds of implications that word brings?

**Lucifer:** THEN WHY IS LUCIFER ALLOWED

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** wait who isnt online atm

**Ai_Mizuno:** Junko and Sakura, it seems.

**Yugiri:** I don’t like what you’re implying.

**Lucifer:** ARE ONE OF THEM SATAN??

**Ai_Mizuno:** I….. Sure hope not.

**Ai_Mizuno:** Kotaro has an odd sense of humor, so it’s not too far fetched.

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** why would they even be satan??

**Yugiri:** Perhaps one played a trick on Tatsumi-han and he wishes revenge on her?

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** we’re talking about junko-chan and sakura-chan here

**Lucifer:** yea me n tae are p much the only ones whod do smth like that

**Yugiri:** Then I’m out of ideas. Peace.

**_Yugiri has left the chatroom._ **

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** tatsumi’s right, that message really is boring

**Ai_Mizuno:** Nobody’s stopping you.

**Tae_Yamada:** hjwq yu

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** wait i can

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** holy

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** i can do that?

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** LILYS YOUR GOD NOW, FEEBLE MORTALS

**Lucifer:** o shit

**_[Lily_Hoshikawqa has changed the welcome message to “AWAIT YOUR JUDGEMENT, [User]”]_ **

**Ai_Mizuno:** This was a mistake

**Lucifer:** i bow to thee, goddess of all that is right and holy

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** AS YOU SHOULD, PEASANT

**_[Lily_Hoshikawqa has changed the farewell message to “[User] TURNS A BLIND EYE TO THE TRUTH]_ **

**Lucifer:** OML THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

**Lucifer:** LILY YOU HAVE JUST BECOME MY NEW FAV PERSON HERE

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** uwu

**Lucifer:** might wanna do smth bout that typo in ur name now

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** right

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** uh

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** i have no idea what to make the new name

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** this is a new era of chatroom, so going back to Lilybud108 wouldnt be right

**Lucifer:** dooooooooooooooooooo

**Lucifer:** SubscribeToDorami

**Lily_Hoshikawqa:** genius

**_[Lily_Hoshikawqa has changed their username to SubscribeToDorami]_ **

**Ai_Mizuno:** Why did I allow this to happen   
**SubscribeToDorami:** because you banned tatsumi!

**Ai_Mizuno:** Ok fine, I’ll go find him and see what to do about all this.

**_Ai_Mizuno TURNS A BLIND EYE TO THE TRUTH_ **

**Lucifer:** holy shit that message is extreme

**SubscribeToDorami:** thats just how goddesses like me like it uwu

**_AWAIT YOUR JUDGEMENT, Satan_ **

**SubscribeToDorami:** YOU

**Satan:** Sorry I’m late! I was busy with s

**Satan:** Why is my name Satan

**Lucifer:** WHO ARE YOU

**Satan:** Satan, I guess?

**SubscribeToDorami:** crap, both of them have the same speech patterns

**Satan:** Excuse me what

**Satan:** And who is Lucifer? Why are we affiliated with each other?

**Lucifer:** ur fav biker gang boss gal, who else >:D

**Satan:** You’re pretty much the only Biker Gang Boss Gal I’ve ever met. I don’t think I have a favourite.

**Lucifer:** its sakura

**Lucifer:** sakura never plays along with anything

**SubscribeToDorami:** sakura-chan!! What did you do that made tatsumi name you that?

**Satan:** I????? Don’t know????

**Satan:** Maybe it’s a typo??

**Satan:** Minamoto-san’s first name is spelled somewhat similarly to “Satan,” after all…

**Lucifer:** wait

**SubscribeToDorami:** no way

**Satan:** ?

**Lucifer:** junko omg you didnt

**Satan:** ???

**Lucifer:** junko how could you, we loved you

**Satan:** I’m really confused, what is happening?

**SubscribeToDorami:** junko-chan what did you do

**Satan:** I don’t know what I did!! Sorry!!

**Lucifer:** talk or were releasing the beast

**Satan:** The what?

**Tae_Yamada:** h

**Lucifer:** yeah her

**Satan:** I swear I have no idea what I did!!!

**SubscribeToDorami:** then ask tatsumi and get back to us!!

**Satan:** Ok ok bye!!!

**_Satan TURNS A BLIND EYE TO THE TRUTH_ **

**Lucifer:** seriously thats a metal farewell message

**SubscribeToDorami:** waiting time agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, writer's block was being a pain in the ass


End file.
